Sunday, December 28, 2008

I HATE being fucked in the head. im tired of feeling the way that i do and feeling like there is no one to talk to. mainly because there isnt anyone who understands. my mind runs a million miles a minute, my feelings change just as fast. i cant help it. im tired of being so damn angry. im tired of my wife having to deal with it. im tired of her taking the brunt of my anger and hatred towards a world that will never care. im tired of having to tell my self that im ok and that these thoughts are just because im nuts that i dont really want to walk off into the great unknown, then im filled with overwhelming grief because i love her more than anything in the world, and im just horrible to her. i need her want her love her she is all that keeps me moving. i miss her. i miss her touch kiss and all i want is to get her to fall in love with me all over again.to have her look at me the way she used to, to need me to want to be with me. where does that go?any way thats enouph rambeling

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Frustrated

Im tired worn out and burnt out. i hate this night schedule i feel like its all i do is work and thats it. the only reason im with this fucking job is security, knowing that the money is there. and thats it. im applying for anything under the fucking sun to get out of this hell and no one is calling back. i could throw papers for a hundred a day and you never pay taxes,work like six hours a day and be done. if my car got ten miles to the gallon and gas were 1.75 id still come home with 2400 a month no taxes....... wtf